pretending's for the best.

For what's worth, I give up on certain people.

I care too much until I let some people take me for granted just because I easily forgive and forget people. I wish I wasn't like that so that people won't do shits to me just because they can and I let them. It's tiring.

For example, people give you lame excuses on why they can't meet up. Yes, I know it's your prerogative whatsover because it is YOUR life, not mine but still.. That doesn't make you have the right to go missing and re-appear and expects things between us to be okay when it's not. It is just horrendous when people disappear with lame excuses and waltzes back into your life and just sit there with a smile. It doesn't work that way. I expect things too much from people but it somehow will end up with disappointment. Not everyone's a let down, just some.

I think too much and it's just fucking annoying sometimes.

On a lighter note, I can't wait for ninth may. (:

thirdloveletter

I miss someone who's sleeping right now and has maths paper. And that someone forced the room mate to wake him up at nine.

:( Cepat la balik.

Macibais.

Kelihatan seorang bapa dan anaknya di sebelah kedai daging.

Anak: Pa, daging apa tu?
Bapa: Ini daging babi, nak.
Anak: Daging apa, pa?
Bapa: Daging babi la sayang.
Anak: Oh.. Daging apa?
Bapa: Daging la babi.

carpe diem.

Here's to my Friday/Saturday.

Thank you for vandalizing my other wall, again. :) To those who came and did not come, thank you.

it's my party and i can cry if i want to.

Azmi called me ten minutes before my birthday after Zaahira and him argued about who's going to wish me first, but Azmi won. ;) The way he waited til midnight was too adorable that I giggled when he wished me. <3

But I am not using my phone right now, using the shop's phone because mine was very cacat and it needs to be hospitalized for two weeks. So, all my birthday texts will be gone when I get my phone back. And the only birthday-y thing that I did today was dinner with my brother and my mum because I had to run mum's errands from noon til late evening and Ira was nice to accompany me since I needed someone to be my navigator. But my someone is having his finals, so he's off the hooked as for now.

I miss having Azmi around and I miss running around the corridor with my friends. I hope Friday will turn out good.

Oh, thanks to EVERYONE that wished me today/yesterday. I am so so sorry that I did not reply any of your texts because seriously, this birthday girl has ZERO amount of credit. But thank you so much people. :) Thank you for the texts, calls, presents and blog posts. xx

wowzaaah.

BYE BRACES, FINALLY.

Nadira

will be legal tomorrow. ;)

tagged #01

1. Regret Something You Did In The Past?
I have done a lot of things but I can not regret any of it because those mistakes happened for many reasons.

2. Country You Want To Visit:
Venice ;)

3. Way You Wanna Die:
Same with Juey, cancer. Fair warnings and enough time.

4. Like Thunderstorms?
Only when Azmi's around.

5. Get Along With Your Parents?
Just my mum.

6. Are You A Health Freak?
Not at ALL.

7. You Think You're Attractive?
Well, yes but in my own terms, I suppose?

8. Do You Believe In Yourself?
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I have my own ups and downs.

9. Do You Want To Get Married?
Someday. :)

10. Do You Want To Go To College?
Yes but not too far but.. Hell, I got the one that's somewhere near the border line of Thailand and Malaysia. Aih.

11. Do You Shower Daily?
Yes.

12. Do You Want Kids?
Someday :)

13. When Do You Want To Lose Your Virginity?
Everyone wants to lose it the night after their wedding.

14. Do You Hate Anyone?
Ah, yes.

15. Can You Unwrap A Starburst With Your Tongue?
No.

16. Do You Think You Can Sing?
No.

17. Can You Open You Eyes Underwater?
Yes but not for long.

18. Eat Whatever And Not Worry?
No, I do not want to die at mid thirties.

19. Can You Whistle?
Yes.

20. Can You Walk In High Heels?
I slip, every now and then.. Normal ey.

21. Do You Sleep With The Light On?
No.

22. Do You Like Super Spicy Foods?
Yes but it depends on the weather too. :)

23. Can You Multitask?
I used to be the Queen of Multitasking but now, short attention span kills everything. -_-

24. Touch Your Nose With Your Tongue?
I do not want to try. :D

25. Can You Fit In Your Locker?
Haha, tried before during fourth grade with Mahira.

26. Do You Spit?
Big N O.

27. Can You Tell The Difference Between Pepsi and Coke?
Yes, the colour of the bottle bands are different. No, the tastes are different. Coke has more gas than Pepsi. Hence, I love Coke more.

28. If You Could Wish For Anything, What Would You Wish?
- I wish I knew what I want because I am clueless with what I want and what people want.
- Penang to be beside KL or wherever my future college will be.
- More money for me to spend on things.
- To stick with what I have until forever.

29. What Kind Of Perfume Or Colone Do You Wear?
J.Lo - Live.

30. What Kind Of Soap Do You Use?
Only Johnson and Johnson.

31. What's Your Favorite Scent?
Nuts and berries.

32. Would You Choose To Live Forever If You Could?
No but I am deadly scared of the afterlife.

I shall tag: Zaahira, Farim and Mimi.

baby seasons change but people don't.

Since 1998

Letih la, bilik selerak sebab tak cat lagi dan lelaki yang sepatutnya datang scrape kan dinding bilik aku ni tak reti nak tepat masa. Aku dah la hormonal nak mati dari semalam, buat aku rasa nak hentak kepala kat dinding dengan Zaahira.

Paper cranes aku pun dah jadi paper cranes yang pelik sebab kucing aku ni gila, cakar semua yang ada. Birthday aku lagi 3 hari tapi aku rasa kosong pulak tiba tiba. Ada aja orang yang timbulkan masalah, letih la macam ni. Semua tak boleh duduk diam, busy dengan life masing-masing. Kosong, lagi.

Emoshizz.

sunday best.

I think my Sunday was well spent. So, I only have two Sundays left.

Mama keeps on reminding me on how many days and weeks more til 11th May and it's rather sad when she cries at wee hours because I am her only little girl. I caught my mum crying the other night and I couldn't stop myself from crying, too. It's going to be the first time we're going to be apart. I keep on reminding my mum that it's only for a year and I'll be back, soon!

But hell, I am lying to myself and to others too. I talked to Azmi last night about this and he was shocked that Changlun is near Thailand's borderline. Yes, there goes his hope of driving up to Changlun. But thank you for keeping me positive and your advices are the same thing that I gave you last year before you went to Penang. I think I have been busy talking and thinking about this until I forget that my birthday is actually this Thursday. Eighteenth birthday baby!

Okay, again with the lying. I am not that excited because I don't know. Maybe it's because the two person that I trusted the most lied to me and betrayed me. Hey, it's life. But I am glad that I have awesome people in my life.

And thank you Mama for letting me cry on your shoulder.
Thank you Wan Azmi* for letting me talk trash about everything. :) Ily.

Er, I should stop writing about 11th May because it depresses me.

SO, the one thing that I REALLY REALLY WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY IS... CLOTHES.
but you should know something, though.. I am quite picky so, you should bring me for sopin spree. Okthanks.

I hope you won't get killed.

Yes, I can say you are pretty much useless.

I am tired of you pushing me around just because I am younger than you. Just because I always keep quiet when you say something I disapprove, it doesn't mean that I am scared of you. You tell me that you hate people's attention but you are the who one always tell the whole world, being the attention whore, that you are upset, emo and whatever mood that relates to that. You want all eyes to be on you because to you, you deserve every attention in the world.

I told you few days earlier that my phone is being a bitch and I cannot reply your calls because of it. Did you even try to listen? I guess not because you, who always pretends to be nice and sweet to everyone, just crushed everything that I had planned and this time, it's on you. Thanks for doing this on the last minute. You're just another let down.

Edited: To a guy who is a bloody stranger in my life.

You have no rights at all to say things like that to me because you are just another stranger in my life. You might be important to her but to me, you are nothing. Don't say things like as if you really know me that well because you don't. Don't get involved with my problems when your side is much worse than mine. I just IMed you because I did not want her to go to Bangkok. But you just had to be the idiot that you always are and ambushed me with you stupid brain talk. Again, stay the hell away from me because you don't know the real story. You heard shit from people that I used to trust.

Thanks for being my other let down and stop being an idiot that you are.

Hi, nama saya Changlun.

Senyum je la.
Ira, kita jumpa in between Perlis and Kedah.

mine.

I loveee these kids!

Thirdloveletter will be back.
Pergi baca blog lain.

Fold 'em.

I decided to make an origami peace crane but it ended up looking like a paper planes. It's depressing, really. Because I want to make twenty three cranes and hang it up at the corner end of my room ceiling before my eighteenth birthday but I can't do it since it's so bloody annoyingly confusing. I shall look for a tutorial video later.

*I found the tutorial video.

Still not helping.

Okay, I found a website with complete tutorial and I feel like a loser right now because it's really easy to do it and I got confused by an old lady in the tutorial video. I did three of it now, twenty more to go. And I think I did a dozen of shurikens that Ann taught me how to do it last year for IU Day.

I know I haven't been writing my 'loveletters'. I just do not want people to judge by things that I write and do not write right now. Soon, I will. I am off to origami land til three o'clock. I want to make some more shurikens.

i think it's your grandparents.

HAHAHAHAH the most sexiest thing I have ever read, ever.

"Pasangan suami isteri yang berumur 51 tahun dan 56 tahun terpaksa memanggil pihak paramedik apabila isteri mengalami kekejangan otot semasa melakukan aksi 'gunting lipat' yang mereka tiru dari buku Kama Sutra yang diberi oleh rakan mereka pada bulan lepas. Suami wanita itu terpaksa menebalkan muka dan menelefon paramedik apabila isterinya mengalami kekejangan otot"

I ripped it off Harian Metro.

WATAFAK. HAHAHAHAHHAHA. That made my monday. K bye.

I miss Azmi, Farim, Mysara, Zaahira, Illy, Rachel and Wei Ann. All of them, except for Azmi, are too busy with their own lives. :(

Currently, making Azmi not to touch Skippy if he doesn't want the scent to disappear and also forcing Mysara to overnight at my place since she's going to get a bitchslap. Mysara, bukan hiperbola.

happy sunday.

Now who's going to pay for my ear surgery?

we got visas in our names.

Happy Legal, Miss Keyboardist/Pilot Lover.

Blow baby, blow.

Since 1996

With the girl that drove like a maniac when I rushed her to GE as early as ten.

Time ni Zaahira tidur macam badak, Sara pulak seronok dalam air cond bilik Zaa while kitaorang berpeluh macam piglets.

Hope you had a great one, Zaa :)

forfeit.

"Take chances, take a lot of them. Because honestly, no matter where you end and with whom, it always ends up just hte way it should be. Your mistakes make you who you are. You learn and grow with each choice you make. Everything is worth it. Say how you feel, always. Be you, and be okay with it."

Sometimes it feels like I'm screaming for attention but it's fucking useless when everything backfires and eats my asses off over something that's not even my mistakes.

It's so hard to see people nowadays since they have their own lives and I have mine but it's just tiring when you're the one who's trying to patch things up with people but they never seem to care about it.

I am trying to keep myself busy by spending time with my cousins since it will probably be our last few months before she gets married and by then, I don't think things will be the same. Azmi and I are mending our broken hearts slowly and it's working and I'm glad the way things are right now. No, not glad... I am happy.

I may be hormonal but I don't care.

Still, I might be gone soon and by that time, maybe you'll realize that things are just too broken that you can't do shits to put the pieces back.

Maybe god has bigger plans.

Life.

Wreckings.

help me?

So you have two options...

1. It's a short cut to the things that you want but you have to really struggle and you'll get sick in between because it's not home to you and there's a huge chance of you'll slack and you cannot bounce back from it.

or

2. You can still get to things that you want but it will take longer than the first option but you won't get sick in between because it's home to you and if you slack, there are chances for you to bounce back.

So, tell me which one do you prefer.

All in one.

First thing first, Happy One Year Babyboy :)
I am glad that I had the chance to see you on our first year even though the bloody guard went all, "Jangan duduk situ".. But I am still glad that I went to Penang to see you ;) Ily <33

Secondly,
no, I am not dead.
no, botak chin did not come to my house and kidnapped me.
no, I did not runaway.
I just went back to my hometown and had a blast there.

Thirdly,
I went to the college that offered me foundation in science yesterday with my mum and definitely not liking the environment there but the application is already finalized and I am going to send it some time this week.

Fourthly,
Ampun, I know that I haven't been approving comments.. I will approve it.. sooner or later.

And this is just me, updating the blog but I had a blast today. ;) I wuvvv you.

Fifthly,
mental note: never ever update like this again. Too damn annoying.

Lastly,
Good Luck to Siti Zaahira :)

Hello April!