you smile when this little heart cries.

[Listening to|Kate Nash - Nicest Things]

I wish that without me your heart would break,
I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake.
I wish that without me you couldn't eat,
I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep.

Sometimes, you can never be enough to one person because all that person wants is perfection but your face is embedded with flaws. You want to be enough but you've failed so many times and it's tiresome for you to try it again, and again because you know that will never happen. As much as you want to be perfect, you know it's not mere possible.

I want to avoid conflicts but it's not working because somewhere along the line, I'll be at fault and sometimes, the decisions will be threatening. I will bow down to everything to keep one thing. It's sad, really. I want to keep everything forever but it's impossible since I am the one who always creates one little problem that would lead to something big. Maybe I am like this because I can't afford to lose one of the most important things in my life. I bow down to things because I am afraid.

But everything cannot beat the pain that I am having when someone tells me I am not and will never be enough.

I just want to shut down.